The Ultimate Guide to Bondage for Beginners

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With increasing popularity in books and movies like 50 Shades of Grey, BDSM and bondage are no longer the mysterious or stigmatized concepts they once were. For those who are curious about testing the waters, here are our 5 tips on bondage for beginners.

#1: Discuss your limits

First things first, communication is necessary before getting down to business. Bondage requires a certain level of comfort so your first experience definitely needs to be with someone you trust. By learning what your partner likes and dislikes, you will have a better idea of where to begin and what type of bondage they’re into. A key question when exploring bondage for beginners is what type of restraints or sensory deprivation to start with. For example, do they want to be tied up or would they rather start with blindfolds.

#2: Words to remember

The best thing about entering the world of bondage is that you get to experiment. Although you may already have preferences toward particular play styles, keeping an open mind is always a good idea. You might end up trying something you’ve never considered and loving it! However, before you start exploring, create a safe word with your partner. It should be something unusual, so there is no room for misunderstandings.

#3: Show some initiative

It can be a little awkward when it comes to your first bondage experience. If you’re not sure where to begin, then we suggest taking the reins and volunteering. Letting yourself be restrained not only shows your trust in your partner but will also get the ball rolling on your playtime. Maybe start with something relaxing like a blindfolded massage. For technique ideas, check out our article on intimate massage.

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#4: Learn the ropes

If you’re just interested in dipping your toe into the BDSM waters, then try working with materials you already have at home. For example, to experiment with rope play, all you need to do is get creative with everyday items like neckties or even the belt from your bathrobe. As long as it’s easy to undo, it’s worth trying out.

#5: Stick to the basics

Handcuffs and blindfolds are the go-to bondage cliches for a reason. Simplicity is often best, especially when you’re just trying bondage for the first time. Before you jump into anything too advanced, test out your boundaries with classic toys like masks or even costumes.  It’s not worth investing in some next-level gadgets and then realising you’re perhaps not as into it you thought you would be. No matter what you choose to start with, the important thing is to remember to have fun.

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Author

A few years ago, Julia Heyne moved to Berlin. Not because of love, but to deal with love on a daily basis. She headed the erotic department at BILD.de for seven years and because that wasn't enough love, lust and passion, she wrote a book about online dating in 2016. Today she has renounced online dating, but continues to write for O*Diaries about the most beautiful minor matter in the world. In her spare time, she also enjoys unromantic things like mountaineering, reading and ghostwriting for various book projects.