Why can’t I orgasm?

why can't I orgasm

If you’re a woman who has never had trouble achieving an orgasm, congratulations. You’re a unicorn. If you’re one of the other 99.99 percent of women, you’ve probably had at least one experience mentally beating yourself up for not being able to reach a climax during sex, which most likely culminated in frantically Googling various illnesses to find out what’s “wrong” with you.

The truth is, there’s almost certainly nothing wrong with you, except the fact you’ve been conditioned to believe you should orgasm every time you have sex. And that’s for a reason!

The role of the clitoris

While sex in the movies and porn almost never acknowledges the role of a woman’s clitoris in achieving orgasm, the fact is, it’s estimated around 80 percent of women require clitoral stimulation in order to climax. That means no matter how good your partner’s penis feels or how talented of a lover he is, unless one of you is inviting your clit to the party, you may be left frustrated.

Why can’t I orgasm? Try a toy

The first step to getting your orgasm back is to stop fixating on it. Obsessing about anything is a surefire way to sabotage your chances of success. The second step is to incorporate fingers and toys into sex. Try adding a clitoral suction toy, like the Womanizer, into foreplay to help increase clitoral blood flow so you’re closer to the Big Oh by the time you get to penetration. All Womanizer products are based on the Pleasure Air Technology. Which means: No worries about overstimulation of your beautiful source of joy.

womanizer starlet

STARLET

Sometimes the little things in life give you the greatest pleasure: Womanizer Starlet offers a smooth feel and a simple, ergonomic design.

Womanizer Premium

PREMIUM

Womanizer PREMIUM is a luxurious clitoris vibrator – and an intimate toy with 12 intensity levels, autopilot and Smart Silence™ Technology.

Hey, woman! You are perfectly normal

And the last step is to tell yourself you’re not broken. You’re actually perfectly normal. Orgasms are incredible, but if you can’t achieve one, sex – be it the kind involving another person, or the kind you have on your own – can still be a wondrous, magical experience. So just relax, and enjoy the ride…and don’t think too much about the question “Why can’t I orgasm?” anymore.

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Author

Nadia Bokody is a sex-positive journalist and media commentator with a passion for empowering women in their sexuality, relationships and mental health. She’s also a regular columnist for titles including HuffPost, Mamamia, Thought Cataloug, The Sun, News.com.au, The Washington Post and more, and a regular sexpert on TV and radio shows including Triple M’s The Grill Team and Channel 7’s The Morning Show. Her relatable, comedic sex-ed YouTube channel has exploded in growth, amassing over 110,000 subscribers in just three months. When she’s not talking about sex or trialing the latest and greatest adult toys, she can be found running global women’s website, SHESAID.com.