My First Time Having Anal Sex: Our author tells all

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For so many years our author had gotten by with average sex. The only penetration from a penis she had experienced was vaginal – no clitoral stimulation, no toys and most definitely no anal sex. It was only once she had a new partner, a new level of comfort and new self-confidence that she discovered a new way of enjoying sex…and it was her first time having anal sex!

So. First things first. No, I don’t only have anal sex now. After my first time having anal sex, I now enjoy being anally stimulated every now and then. Furthermore, enjoying it as a “taboo” from time to time really turns me on. Nevertheless, close, intimate vaginal sex with my boyfriend – that is still my most preferred type of sex for me. A friend of mine sees it very differently though. She’s even trying anal sex with one-night stands, which is unimaginable to me. This is because, for me, anal sex needs one thing above all: trust.

My first time experiencing anal stimulation? Terrible!

My need for trust is probably due to the fact my first time with anal sex, or at least my first experience with anal stimulation was terrible. At the time I had no trust in my boyfriend and he was too rough. Above all, we weren’t prepared. And when it comes to anal sex, preparation is everything. It is important to start everything by discussing your desires and wishes together, as well as having enough lubricant and a condom on hand. Finally, it can also depend on how long you and your partner have been together or if you have a few partners. If you aren’t prepared and you don’t look after each other, it can be a really painful affair. As was the case with me. I had to stop straight away because my partner was too pushy and didn’t use any lubricant. After that, we only had vaginal sex as I didn’t want to try anal with him again, which in turn frustrated him further…

“But then I met my current partner, who was a totally different type of person.”

To his core my boyfriend is sensitive, open and a great communicator. So after a few months of being together and enjoying wonderful sex, he let me know that he wanted to try anal sex with me. He explained to me that it was a huge turn on for him it is. And I understood. Even when we were only talking about it, I was turned on – and curious. Still it took a few more days until we had anal sex for the first time.

Our first time having anal sex: a little wine and a lot of lube

It was a Friday night when we came home from a party and were a bit tipsy, if not drunk. In retrospect, having a little alcohol in my bloodstream was helpful when trying anal for the first time. At least that was the case for me, because I was especially relaxed that night. That is actually an important requirement for anal sex. When your mind isn’t calm, your whole body will feel tighter. This includes the already tight sphincter muscle, which can pull together and make penetration painful. So we were tipsy, in the right mood and feeling into each other. We first jumped quickly into the shower, which is especially recommended for first time anal sex as it creates a more comfortable atmosphere. We warmed things up again under the water and then climbed into bed with the lubricant. Slowly, slowly my boyfriend entered me from behind.

“As the penetration continued, I began to get used to this pressure – and even began to enjoy it!”

The unfamiliar sensation felt a little strange, almost as if I had to go to the bathroom. But I didn’t, I knew that for sure. By the way, this is also an important tip: only have anal sex after you’ve been to the bathroom. Otherwise, it can get a little “dirty.”

As the penetration continued, I began to get used to this pressure – and even began to enjoy it. Also, my sphincter had widened and my boyfriend could move faster. What really turned me on was the fact that my boyfriend was so hard. And apparently really enjoying himself – it only took a few minutes for him to come. Then came another unfamiliar feeling. I’ve never had semen in my rectum before. Another tip: even if it isn’t very romantic, go straight to the bathroom and clean yourself up so you don’t make any more mess on the bed.

My first time having anal sex with my current partner was definitely not the last time. These days, we have anal sex every now and then if we feel like it. The only thing I haven’t experienced yet is an anal orgasm (yes, that exists!). But we have all the time in the world to try…

More to read

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Unlike its’ sister, the G-spot, the A-spot doesn’t get the attention it deserves. The A-spot often is confused with the G-spot, but they are actually two separate areas, that produce very different reactions. What is great about the A-spot is that it can actually be stimulated internally during anal sex, despite the myth that women feel little to no pleasure during anal. The A-spot allows women to receive orgasmic pleasure beyond the clitoris.

The myth of the anal orgasm – does it exist?

When it comes to anal sex, people’s opinions differ widely. For some, anal sex is the royal treatment to sexual gratification, whilst others have memories of pain and insecurity. We take a closer look at anal sex and explore whether anal orgasms are real.

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Frieda worked as a freelance journalist for over 10 years: She used to write about Easter recipes and style icons, about human metabolism and Michelin-rated restaurants. In short: about everything, except for sex. And for a good reason. Frieda always considered herself to be an average sexual person for all those years. Until a breakup persuaded her to stop taking the pill, which she had been on for 14 years. It was then, at the age of 28, that she finally discovered her wonderful sexuality and found her true, unique and hungry libido. Ever since, she has not only practiced a new sexuality. She writes and speaks about it too. And has never been as fulfilled as she is today!