The good news is that anal sex is becoming less of a taboo in our society, and rightly so. But to ensure your first time is the pleasurable highlight it could be, good preparation is necessary. We’ve got you covered. Here are our top tips to prepare for anal sex.
Talk about it!
Get right into it? Better not! Anal sex could surprise your partner if you have never talked about your desires and expectations. Try to find the right moment to have an honest conversation about your expectations and desires. By addressing your partner’s thoughts and fears, you’ll both feel more at ease. For example, many people worry they’re going to experience pain during their first-time anal sex. If you’re well informed, you can minimize your partner’s concerns.
One more trip to the toilet before you get started
Some people think anal sex is a dirty affair. Abrupt bowel movement is a common concern among those starting out. But you needn’t worry about that. The rectum is the final segment of the bowel just ahead of the anus. Any feces will only get to the rectum shortly before bowel evacuation. Therefore, if you don’t feel the need to visit the toilet, things won’t get messy during anal sex. If you can sense a bowel movement, quickly pop to the toilet.
Optimal anal sex preparation: a question of hygiene
In order for the both of you to feel prepared and comfortable (that’s what anal stimulation should be about), jump in the shower – together or alone. That way you can be sure that your bodies are clean and fresh. If you want to be 100% sure your anus is clean, you could take a little anal shower and flush the rectum with some lukewarm water.
But be careful – don’t use perfumed shower gels. They could irritate your sensitive intimate area. Here are some tips for good intimate hygiene.
Lubricant is your best friend
And for a good reason. In contrast to the vagina, the anus does not produce any moisture. In order to ease penetration just apply some lubricant. It’s best if you choose a water-based product as these are well tolerated together with condoms. Don’t get stingy with the lube. Let it be moist!
Condoms close at hand?
Whilst we’re on the topic of condoms: if you’re in a fairly new relationship or you’re having a hot affair, be sure to use condoms during anal sex. Sexually transmitted diseases are as common during anal penetration as they are during vaginal stimulation. If you’re using a condom, you can rest assured that you won’t catch anything. Lay back and enjoy!
Massaging, licking, circling – it’s all fair game
Good anal sex preparation includes pre-stretching the sphincter – a particularly strong muscle of the human body. Stimulate each other and massage the anus using a finger or tongue. This helps to relax the muscles. Then slowly insert a finger and monitor how your partner reacts to it. Special anal toys such as the We-Vibe Ditto or the We-Vibe Vector can help you pre-stretch. Importantly, always be gentle.
Most importantly, show respect for each other during anal sex and make sure you’re both feeling comfortable. Once you’re both relaxed, let the pleasure begin!
For so many years our author had gotten by with average sex. The only penetration from a penis she had experienced was vaginal – no clitoral stimulation, no toys and most definitely no anal sex. It was only once she had a new partner, a new level of comfort and new self-confidence that she discovered a new way of enjoying sex…and it was her first time having anal sex!