If you’ve been wanting to try something new, then you’ve probably thought about anal sex before. It’s no surprise – women and men can experience equally intense sexual pleasure and orgasms. Why? There are a number of nerve endings that make the anus highly-erogenous. So what should you pay attention to, if you’ve decided to try anal for the first time? Here we give an overview of how it works and we have put together a few tips for beginners.
Anal sex is on trend
Yes, you read that right. And this popularity is not just, as one would expect, among men. More and more women are discovering anal sex for themselves. This is reflected by The Journal of Sexual Medicine, which has published US studies that show around 40% of 20 to 24 year old women have tried anal sex already. In 1992, that was only 16%.
More and more people are talking about intense anal orgasms. The anus is actually surrounded by nerve endings, much like the clitoris. In addition, the female G-spot is located behind the rectum and for men it is the prostate. So why not try it?
Anal for the first time: Ignore the myths!
Those who are curious about anal sex may be scared off by the surrounding myths. Some of them are really widespread! That’s why it’s important that the first step for good anal sex is to get informed.
Myth # 1: Anal sex hurts
This isn’t exactly true. It is really only when the partner (or female partner using a strap-on) acts carelessly that pain becomes likely. It is especially important for the first time for you to be in the right mood and to take a lot of care. It is also important to use a lot of lubricant. Some anal toys are also helpful, for example the We-Vibe Vector or We-Vibe Ditto. With anal plugs, you can also pre-stretch the area. Additionally, the Vector and Ditto pamper you with gentle yet deep vibrations.
Myth # 2: Anal sex is dirty
Many anal sex beginners worry that they will accidentally poop during sex. And yes, that can always happen. Waste is stored in the rectum – but only immediately before using the bathroom. So if you don’t feel like you need to go, then anal sex is hygienically safe.
However, if you have anal sex and then begin having vaginal intercourse, it is always a good idea to clean yourself in advance. Why? Intestinal bacteria can otherwise cause infections in the vagina, leading to issues like cystitis. Condoms should also be changed between having anal and vaginal sex.
Myth # 3: Anal sex doesn’t require condoms
If you’re not in a long-term relationship, then the use of condoms is always advisable for anal sex. Why? So you can reduce the chance of infections with sexual transmitted diseases.
Myth # 4: The anus can get stretched out
This can be immediately answered with a clear “no!” The sphincter is a strong muscle that doesn’t stretch, even with frequent anal sex. However, the sphincter can adapt to pressure over time and start to relax faster – which only has positive effects and shouldn’t cause you too much concern.
Myth # 5: It is only for gay men
Even if some straight men still think this, it’s simply not true. Anal sex can be fun for everyone – and is even commonly practiced between heterosexual couples. There are many straight men and women that enjoy anal stimulation just as much as a gay man might. And there are often gay men that do not enjoy anal penetration at all, and prefer to just be satisfied orally. Essentially what we mean is that neither your sexual orientation or gender should prevent you from trying out anal sex if you’re already curious about it.
Anal sex for beginners: The most important tips
The most important step in anal sex: preparation. If you want to have anal sex with your partner, then it is important to talk to each other first – especially about your desires and needs. If you don’t know the right words, then just feel. You can do this solo or with your partner. Use your finger and learn what you like and what you don’t.
Have a quick shower
If you’re both ready and want to try anal sex together, then extra hygiene is required. Get in the shower together and get things started. This way you avoid any awkwardness and establish a good, comfortable atmosphere. Listen to your body and if you don’t feel any pressure, it’s all fine. Those who prefer to can even try anal douching, through which you gently clean the inside of the anus. That might be a bit much for the first time though, for now a bath or shower is usually enough.
Grab the lube!
Now it’s time to stretch the anus gently, either with your finger or with a toy. Lubricant is an absolute must. This is because, unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t have the ability to get wet. Water-based lubricant is preferred because it is gentle on mucous membranes and is fine with toys and latex condoms.
Are you feeling alright? Well, then you’re ready to make a start. The top priority for anal sex beginners is take your time! It may feel strange at first, so it is advisable that the partner penetrates slowly. Speak to one another and check on each other. You can also change it up every now and then, and massage the outer anus with your fingers or even use your tongue to stimulate and pamper the sensitive region.
These sex positions are handy for trying out anal sex
The Sphinx: Here the passive partner makes themselves comfortable lying face down, with their legs slightly bent. This relaxes the anus, so the active partner can lie down on top and penetrate slowly.
The Curled Angel: This nice and intimate position involves both partners lying side by side like spoons. The active partner is behind and penetrates anally from here. This position is also especially good for the passive partner, as they can relax easily.
The Ride: The classic riding positions are familiar to most people and they also work for anal sex. The passive partner sits on top in this position. The advantage? They have full control.
And after anal fun?
If you both tried anal for the first time, then talk to each other openly about it. What did you most enjoy? Did you like it? What would you want to try next time? Also: hygiene should be remembered. Afterwards, it is ideal to clean the area with lukewarm water before cuddling up together again…