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Masturbating before sex may help you boost your stamina–especially if you’re doing it the advanced way.
Does masturbating before sex make you a better lover?
Are you wondering whether masturbating before sex does make you last longer in bed? Well, the short answer is ‘yes’. You can indeed make sex last longer by masturbating before. But you’ve got to include your entire body. If you only focus on your penis, it is not as good to masturbate before sex because it may decrease your desire for intimacy later. Masturbating the mindful way before sex, however, may be the hidden key to better and longer sex.
Masturbating before sex may help prevent premature ejaculation
Some men experience challenges with premature ejaculation. They believe that masturbating before sex helps them to “get it out of their system” to last longer later. This is due to the refractory period, or recovery phase, the time your body needs to recharge after climax.
If you have a longer refractory period, masturbating before sex can prevent premature ejaculation for the rest of the day and even the next. Depending on your age and sensitivity, the length of this recovery period will vary. Younger men may only need a few minutes, while older men may need anywhere from 12 to 24 hours.
Your sex drive, however, decreases after ejaculation, so masturbating this way before sex might diminish your desire for intimacy with a partner. Plus, second and third ejaculations often don’t feel as pleasurable as firsts. Sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., says, “masturbating before sex may delay ejaculation, but it’s a quick fix, not a viable approach.”
Learn when to pause and breathe
Kerner suggests that men with premature ejaculation challenges should self-pleasure as part of a long-term strategy to understand their bodies better. Sex therapist Lisa Thomas suggests that when you masturbate, “pay attention to how it feels right before you ejaculate. This sensation is called the point-of-no-return.”
The point-of-no-return can feel like a contracting sensation in the base of your body. During (solo-) sex, slow down at least 20% and place your focus into your base, so you notice the subtle clues from your body. As soon as you feel the point-of-no-return approaching, pause, relax, and calm yourself by breathing deep into your belly.
It’s important that you practice this technique during masturbating, because in sex, there’s another person involved, and their desire can throw you over the edge in less than a second.
The whole purpose of masturbating before sex is to become more mindful and learn how to get in control of your ejaculations by extending the point-of-no-return reflex so you can have sex for as long as you like.
Edging can lead to powerful full-body orgasms
Begin your practice by slowing down when you’re about 80% close to the point-of-no-return. Over time, work your way up to 95% and ultimately 99% proximity. This technique is called ‘edging’ or ‘orgasm surfing’. Many tantra practitioners use it to achieve full-body orgasms that can last for 20 minutes and longer.
Most people do not know about this hidden benefit of masturbating before sex
Imagine the following scenario: you’re coming home at the end of a long work week. It’s date-night, and your lover is waiting. Normally you love sex, but right now it feels like another duty you have to perform.
Ideally, your partner would help you refuel by letting you receive first. But what if your lover has also had a long day and feels tired or not in the mood to serve?
When you’re too exhausted to initiate anything, you need to get outside help. This is the perfect opportunity to take out your sex toys. Lean back, press play, and let the toy do the work for you.
This sexy solo-time can bring you back to life in 20 minutes or less. And who knows–you may even let your lover watch. They might just get so turned on seeing you that they can’t help but sink their body onto yours.