Myth or reality? Squirting. Can any woman do it? What happens during squirting, does it make sex and orgasm better? We asked an expert: Lola Jean, the “Queen of Squirting”.
Dear Lola Jean, you are “Queen of Squirting” and have the world record in squirting. How do you do it?
It’s a simple, yet not so simple answer. Squirting is more of a recent occurrence in my life. Once I learned my body was capable of doing this thing it hadn’t done before I became curious to get to the bottom of it. After a lot of time with myself and copious masturbation I was eventually able to control squirting through clitoral stimulation alone. This was contrary to what many “scientific studies” or educational resources led me to believe. I could disprove many theories and statements in all of 5 seconds with my own body. I was made aware by a few lovers and friends who work in porn that my volume was noteworthy, which is how knew I had something special. Setting the world record was a personal achievement but it was also to make a statement that this bodily function is different than what we thought and pointing at that we know even less than we think we do about it.
Can you give us numbers?
Case and point I beat what was thought of as the max amount one person could squirt which was thought of as 900mL but I ejected 1250 mL in under 30 seconds.
What did squirting teach you?
Even though I have arguably the deepest understanding of the bodily relationship with squirting, I still have a difficult relationship with the act. Squirting didn’t solve everything. It opened new doors and allowed me to experience new feelings good bad and others, but I still have the same quandaries many do when it comes to sex and love.
Can any woman squirt?
This is a tougher one to say definitively as there isn’t always knee jerk reaction way to squirt – no matter how many people tell you otherwise. I don’t how many people one human has made squirt – they don’t have all the answers and if they don’t make you squirt you aren’t broken. Squirting is a journey. It can take some people a week, some a few months, and some years until they figure out their route. We’ve been giving one route for people to squirt – via that G-Spot come hither. That being said it is my belief that any person with a vulva can squirt if they have a strong enough pelvic floor and relationship with their vulva. I’ve been able to work with many people via private coaching, public classes and online resources. I’ve received enough positive feedback of first time squirters to know that there is at least another route to squirting we’re not talking about. Much of the time the missing link is the understanding and exercise of the vulva owner and their muscle/pleasure involvement.
These toys can help you squirt…
Why doesn’t squirting necessarily have something to do with an orgasm?
Squirting can happen independently of an orgasm. When I first started having immense control over my squirting, I clung to it. Squirting was much easier to achieve than an orgasm – which for me isn’t super easy. Squirting was something pleasurable I knew I could achieve in most, if not all, sexual experiences. I like to refer to squirting as “sexual applause.” It’s not that standing O, but sometimes you can get both. I can squirt in about 5 seconds, but orgasming takes longer depending on the activity. Masturbation with my hand takes a few minutes or so, oral a bit longer, and penetrative sex even longer. Though the womanizer and I can get there in about a minute or so.
Where does the female prostate sit?
The female prostate is not the same as the male prostate. It’s not an object you can really feel, but a collection of glands. The female prostate glands are also known as the paraurethral glands, aka erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra in order to protect it. When aroused the erectile tissue will become engorged with blood and be more sensitive. Similarly the vulva will also increase in size during arousal. Every person has a different amount of glands in this area, just like every prostate is of a slightly different size and location. With both prostates one can either stimulate the glands manually or internally via muscle control. Muscle control is obviously going to give you more control over the sensation and also be more comfortable. Conveniently one of the more central parts of the internal clitoris sits closely to the paraurethral glands. The lubrication secreted by the female prostate may drain into the urethra since that is the areas it is lubricating to protect. The other, more pronounced, glands responsible for lubricating the vagina making sex less painful and more pleasurable are the Bartholin’s glands located towards the bottom of the vagina.
It is discussed again and again what female ejaculate actually consists of. Can you give us an answer?
Again, there’s not enough research out there and it honestly can vary from day to day, how aroused I am, how hydrated I am. After enough rounds of peeing and squirting into separate receptacles. I can safely say it *does* contain some pee, but its just part of a concoction. There are added elements, especially a cloudy type of quality that I believe comes from the prostate. Both the male and female prostate produce a protein referred to as Prostate Specific Antigen. This changes the properties of the liquid. Again, this can vary from person to person. So no, it’s not pee, but there is some pee in it, some times. There’s also pee in pre-cum.
But honestly, I’m tired of people who want to fight me that this liquid is all pee. I’m tired of defending what I know my body does.
Why is squirting still a taboo for many?
Because we don’t fully understand it and we like to question the things we can’t define. And probably due to the “it’s pee” mentality as mentioned. The mess it creates is another shaming factor people use. A small part of me thinks that we’re having a harder time talking about what the vagina-owner can do to squirt because it doesn’t incorporate the male ego being the one to do so.
Do you have any tips on how women can practice squirting?
It really is best learned via a masturbation journey. We are most at home with ourselves, so it’s a fantastic place to start. I do recommend – if you haven’t already squirted yourself – experiencing that in any way, shape, or form so you have a frame of reference and know what feelings and sensations you’re aiming to replicate. One of my favorite ways of doing that is with the Womanizer. I like to say that your body stands no chance against it. You just have to trust it and take yourself past your comfort zone. It’s also a way to prove to yourself that you can squirt with out direct manual G-spot stimulation.
I have a guided masturbation audioclass available on iTunes that is a great place to start in the discovery. I would add in using kegels and “pushes” (flowering out the vaginal canal) while you are doing some of these movements to see how that changes your pleasure or the sensation.
Many people only know squirting from porn: But what does it really look like?
Squirting differs from person to person (sensing a trend here, right?) One thing I hear is that people don’t think its squirt unless it shoots out of them like a geyser with force. A la porn. Most of the time my squirt (or gush) is more akin to when you stop your finger over a running hose. Squirt can be a little dribble or it can look like you wet the bed. Sometimes you feel it happen. Sometimes you have no idea until you’re sitting in your own self-made puddle. Rarely am I able to squirt with something or someone in my vaginal canal. It can feel uncomfortable or that it’s preventing myself from releasing. It is more in those moments, once the object or person is removed that I will release with force.
But you are not only “Queen of Squirting”: Tell us what you do?
The list is almost too long! Mainly, I am a Sex Educator but I am also a Mental Health Professional, a Writer, a Fetish Wrestler and an occasional Pro Domme. As a sex educator I help people have better sex with themselves and each other through private kink or sex coaching, hands-on classes, talks, events and a soon to be launched podcast called ‘Is Our Love ___?’. It is my goal to challenge gender and societal norms by not perpetuating what is already so prevalent in porn or the male gaze. It is my goal to provide individuals with tools and information that is inclusive of the spectrum of our sexuality. I want to help women put their pleasure first, and demand it. I want to introduce men to anal pleasure. There is so much we are not exploring due to fear. Fear of how society will view us. How our partners will view us. How our peers will view us. I help individuals stop making excuses, unlock who they are and what they deserve.
Dear Lola Jean! Thank you for the interview.