How to use a sex toy during foreplay with your partner

Especially during foreplay, many people in long-lasting relationships follow an established pattern. The foreplay is no longer really varied and adventurous. Our columnist Nadia Bokody recommends to reach for sex toys – and has a few product recommendations ready for you.

If you’re one of the estimated 70 to 80 percent of women who need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, incorporating a clitoral sex toy during foreplay or lovemaking sesh can be a great way to turn up the heat.

Toying around

There’s nothing sexier than letting your partner take control of your sex toy during foreplay, using it to build arousal until you’re dangerously close to orgasm. 

Sex toys are a fantastic way to tease and explore each other’s bodies and really up the foreplay anti.

I’m a big fan of having my partner use my Womanizer all over my body; lightly running it over my nipples and down over my navel and onto my clit. It builds an incredibly delicious level of anticipation, and ensures I’m really wet when we move onto the main event.

Will a sex toy during foreplay make my partner uncomfortable?

Unfortunately, there’s still an outdated belief among some women that introducing a toy into the bedroom will somehow emasculate their partner, or make him feel like he has to compete.

The reality couldn’t be any further from the truth. Research suggests around 41 percent of women have used a vibrator during foreplay with a partner, and for good reason. Sex toys heighten all of the sensations of sex, and introduce a new, novel element into the mix to keep things interesting. 

Here are some favorite sex toys for foreplay

Say hello to my little friend…

The best way to introduce a toy into your foreplay sesh is to talk to your partner about it. The conversation needn’t be awkward or clinical, in fact, you can make it downright dirty. Whisper into your partner’s ear that you’ve got a naughty fantasy about them using a toy on you, and that you want them to tease you with it tonight.

When it comes time to reach for your toy, use it to put on a show for your partner. There are few things sexier than watching your partner get off, and it’s additionally a really effective way to show them exactly how you’d like them to use the toy on you.
Once your partner’s worked up, hand over your plaything and invite them to use it everywhere on your body, except for your genitals. Allow yourself to sink into the moment and enjoy the sensations on your skin. Ask your partner to concentrate on each of your erogenous zones: neck, breasts, nipples, tummy, and wherever else feels good.

After your body has been thoroughly teased, invite your partner to hold the toy over your clit. Clitoral toys are especially great, because you can carry on using them right throughout sex. Simply straddle over your partner to ride them, then hold the toy over your clit while you ride to continue the fun! But also other toys are perfect for foreplay. And I introduce them to you once…