All Hail The Queen – A Guide To Gentle Femdom

I straddle his chest, feeling his heartbeat echo through my thighs. Keep your eyes closed…you don’t have permission to look at me yet, I whisper. Leaning in closer, I inhale and exhale – teasing him with the warm wet of my breath, sensing the sheer desire and expectation rippling through his body. I sit back up, take a moment to drink in this newfound power. Now you can open your eyes, I command.

For a long time, I identified as purely submissive – until I discovered gentle femdom over the course of a three-day affair during my summer holidays. It was one of those rare liaisons colored with an immediate sense of chemistry, comfort and communication. The morning after our first night, we were enjoying some lazy pillow talk when he asked if I’d be willing to dominate him. He explained he also had a submissive side and preferred gentle femdom. Curious and energized by lust, I spent the next two days discovering my inner power queen. Months later, I’m still exploring my new taste for gentle femdom…

What Is Gentle Femdom?

Femdom is short for female domination. Female meaning anyone who identifies as female or femme. Gentle Femdom (GFD) is characterized by a (consensual!) power exchange where the female or femme takes charge but under the guise of more nurturing, affectionate tactics. Mutually pleasurable interaction is at the center, but all under the direction of the gentle femdom queen. While other forms of BDSM may include pain, degradation and humiliation – gentle femdom doesn’t usually include these practices.

Here’s a visual to explain gentle FemDom. Think of sitting in a chair (or a throne for that matter). Your submissive is across the room. They want nothing more than to please you, seduce you, touch you. What must they do to be rewarded?

Gentle Femdom In Practice

In the practice of gentle femdom, the submissive wants to serve their queen in order to be rewarded. This can be expressed in mental, emotional and physical acts of reverence and respect. From taking on the responsibility of daily chores to focused worship, the forms of gentle femdom vary and can be quite a creative, empowering process for the queen.

Examples of Gentle Femdom

• Acts of servitude such as household tasks, errands, cooking
• Receiving pedicures, manicures, special baths
• Exercising control over the submissive’s physical appearance
• Sensory play such as blindfolding, light bondage
• Requiring permission to do simple things
• Being addressed in the manner of preference such as queen, mistress, etc…
• Receiving acts of chivalry such as opening doors, pulling out chairs
• Tease & denial
• Body worship
• Receiving genuine, heartfelt compliments and observations
• Orgasm denial and delay

Examples of Rewarding the Submissive

• Verbal affection and encouragement
• Physical affection such as stroking, cuddling, embracing
• Permitting acts of self pleasure
• Permitting to be pleasured with touch or toy play
• Allowing physical proximity
• Removing restraints

Gentle Femdom & Sex Toys

Making a sex toy the pinnacle of reward for the submissive can help build in a gradual process of encouragement for ‘good boy’ behavior. If the sex toy is for the queen’s pleasure, then it becomes the submissive’s object of desire. For example, place a sex toy like Womanizer’s Premium 2 on the bedroom table and make the submissive fulfill a series of demands or requests. With each task completed to satisfaction, they are allowed to get closer to the toy. Tease them with painting a verbal picture of how they will be eventually allowed to pleasure you. Be as specific as you like. Or play with asking questions to see if you get the answers you want. If not, they must try again.

Or perhaps the submissive is rewarded by receiving stimulation from a sex toy. We-Vibe’s Bond works in tandem with gentle femdom as an app controlled wearable penis ring. Stimulation is only given as praise for the submissive’s good behavior. This can be quite the rush in playing with tease and denial. You might even enjoy a bit of begging and pleading for pleasure.

Whether for receiving or giving, sex toys can build in longing and focus into a gentle femdom session. Just the sound of the toy’s vibrations, or your sub being allowed to touch the toy can all play into a dance of seduction. I found the psychological component of gentle femdom to be a massive turn on. Alternating between command and reward, all imbued with sense of gentle authority, built up this rhythm that made the acts of pleasure downright delectable.

Is Gentle Femdom For You?

We’re taught to believe dominance as a more ‘natural’ manifestation of the masculine identity. Gentle femdom and femdom refutes this by claiming space within dominance and BDSM. Since gentle femdom centers around a more tender and nurturing composure while maintaining control, this can be quite the invitation for exploration. Plus, creating a power dynamic with an eager submissive is nothing short than empowering. After discovering I had an appetite for gentle femdom myself, I found the energy and exchange followed me into my daily life. I walked down the street with a new found confidence and intention. I made decisions more easily and second guessed myself less. But most of all, I found I embodied my voice with more assertiveness and clarity…like a queen.

If you’d like to learn more about gentle femdom, check out this video.