What having sex with another woman taught me

sex with another woman o-diaries

Even if you aren’t a woman that’s usually into other womenexploring your curiosity or attraction can be illuminating – and even help you discover a few new things about yourselfOur author Nadia Bokody explains howOur author Nadia Bokody explains how 

don’t classify myself as a lesbianor even bisexual. But I’ve had sex with women. In short, I believe sexuality is far more fluid than those labels give it credit for, and so for that reason, I don’t label myself as anythingincluding hetero. 

That’s what sex with another woman told me

As someone who has predominantly had sexual relationships with menmy experiences with women have taught me a lot. There’s a distinct difference in the way women connect to one another than the way men do, and that’s only further highlighted in the bedroom. Perhaps most surprisinglymy same-sex sexual encounters have taught me that sex between two women is rarely about the orgasm, and for that reasonorgasm-less sex between same-sex female partners isn’t uncommon. But not for the reason you might think. 

Sex with women is special

Why are you rushing?” a female partner once asked me when we were in bed together.  It’s not about the finish lineIt’s about the journey,” she informed me.  It was the first time I’d had sex with someone who genuinely seemed nonchalant about the prospective of climaxing.  Indeed, all the women I’ve been intimate with have taught me to be more mindful in the moment during sex. To savour each touch, taste and sensationTo slow down, and quiet my racing mind – which is typically always three-steps ahead of me in the bedroom. 

Sex with a woman is an incredibly sensual thing. There’s a heightened focus on connecting, rather than simply transacting something from one another. It’s taught me a lot about paying attention to my own needs and appreciating the often wildly overlooked act of foreplay. 

Sex with a woman is an incredibly sensual thing.

These daysI’m having regular sex with a man, but my sexual experiences with women are ever-present in our intimate life. ask my partner to slow down, we take time to just touch, and play with toys together, and we really listen to one anotherIt’s somewhat magical. I’ve learnt a lot from having sex with women. But perhaps the most important thing it’s taught meis not to box myself in – to labelsor ideasor styles in the bedroom. try something new almost every time my partner and I have sex, and I’m honest about my desires and fantasies. I have my fellow female lovers to thank for that. 

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Author

Nadia Bokody is a sex-positive journalist and media commentator with a passion for empowering women in their sexuality, relationships and mental health. She’s also a regular columnist for titles including HuffPost, Mamamia, Thought Cataloug, The Sun, News.com.au, The Washington Post and more, and a regular sexpert on TV and radio shows including Triple M’s The Grill Team and Channel 7’s The Morning Show. Her relatable, comedic sex-ed YouTube channel has exploded in growth, amassing over 110,000 subscribers in just three months. When she’s not talking about sex or trialing the latest and greatest adult toys, she can be found running global women’s website, SHESAID.com.