Learn from the best: Sex tips from the old and wise

old people sex o-diaries

There are many things in life where we should listen to those with experience. They know best because they have had many years to perfect the art. But today we are not talking about grandma’s legendary cake recipe – oh no! Today, it’s all about sex. Because there is a lot that younger people can learn from the older generation.

We asked people over 60 what secret tips and tricks they have in the bedroom. Read on for some inspiration!

Yes, old people have sex

Before we start with the tips, we first have to dispel a very stubborn cliché: the fact that people over a certain age no longer have sex. If you ask a teenager whether they can imagine their parents still having an active love life, then you could guess how they might react. Sex over 60? No way! Dear teenagers, brace yourselves: You don’t stop being a sexual being just because you have passed a certain age. Sex doesn’t retire. A study by the University of Manchester in 2015 shows that 54 percent of men and 31 percent of women over 70 are quite sexually active. Now that we have cleared that up, let’s get some inspiration from those who really have experience.

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Sex tips for long-term relationships: Wisdom from the older generation

Marta, 72

I have three children and five grandchildren. And sometimes I have the feeling that none of my family can imagine that I have needs other than just being there for my family and making everyone happy. I like to do that, no question about it, but I know that the main thing I have to do is to make myself happy. This is the only way I can be there for others. And it makes me happy when I listen to what my body needs. And that includes regular sex. Thank God my husband, who is my age, sees it exactly the same way. We have a fulfilling, active love life – and always have. That hasn’t changed with age. We used to have to find time for sex because the children were small and the job was stressful; we do today because we have a lot of social obligations. But we always set aside the time for sensual connection and we still do it today.

My tip: pay attention to what makes you happy. And then do it!

Fred, 67

I was brought up very liberally for the time – sex was never a taboo subject in my family. Sometimes I get the feeling that young people these days are much more uptight and have a problem talking openly about lust and love. That is too bad. I was always able to clearly articulate my wants and needs and I think that’s why I always had a fulfilling sex life. I tried many things in bed with my first wife, and we both had fun. My second wife found it a little difficult, but we still had many wonderful intimate hours. Unfortunately, she died a few years ago. After her death, I didn’t even think about sex for a long time – the first time in my adult life – but for some time now my lust has been reawakened. I don’t feel old, I am fit and I feel like having sex. And I’ve been living it out recently with my new girlfriend. I am curious to see what awaits us.

My tip: Realize that sex is not a taboo subject and talk openly about your wishes, fantasies and preferences.

Hans, 79.

To be honest, as a young person, I would never have thought that when I was almost 80 I would still feel like sex. That’s why I can understand young people well who think that old people no longer have an active love life. Although I have to admit that the activity does subside a little over the years. When my wife and I were younger we had sex several times a week and that was important to both of us. But that gets less and less from year to year. Even if we are comparatively fit, we already have our physical problems. And that not only affects the frequency of our love making, but the way we interact also changes. With age, it’s more about cuddling and exchanging tenderness, we no longer have to prove to ourselves that we can do the Kama Sutra. Still, I think it’s important not to stop touching and being tender with one another. We humans need touch to be happy. If that suddenly disappeared just because you’re not 40 anymore, then we would wither away. I often think of friends of mine who live alone and probably feel lonely because nobody touches them anymore. I’m very sorry about that and I appreciate it all the more that my wife and I still have each other.

My tip: Accept if your sex changes with age. But don’t stop touching and let yourself be touched.

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Isolde, 74

I admit that it amazes myself, but for me sex gets better with age. I haven’t been particularly open about sex in my life. I think that was because of the time I grew up. And about my parents’ who were very conservative. I never saw my parents naked and sex was never openly talked about. At some point I was informed, but only about the bare essentials. For decades I wasn’t even close to realizing how beautiful sex can be – and everything that goes with it. My husband and I had sex, of course, but I wouldn’t describe it as a fulfilling love life. More like the classic routine every Saturday. Ten years ago my husband left me for another woman and after the first shock, I started to deal with myself and my body. And to discover my true sexuality. Better late than never, right? The subject of masturbation only came into my life a few years ago, before I wouldn’t have known what to do. Today, I enjoy pampering myself and living out my desires. And for some time now I’ve even had a sex toy that finally gives me orgasms that I haven’t had for most of my life …

My tip: It’s never too late to discover your own sexuality, try new things and enjoy your body .

Conclusion: The cliché that older people do not have sex needs to be laid to rest. Everyone has the right to a full sex life and physical closeness. It’s never too late to try new things and live out your desires.

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A few years ago, Julia Heyne moved to Berlin. Not because of love, but to deal with love on a daily basis. She headed the erotic department at BILD.de for seven years and because that wasn't enough love, lust and passion, she wrote a book about online dating in 2016. Today she has renounced online dating, but continues to write for O*Diaries about the most beautiful minor matter in the world. In her spare time, she also enjoys unromantic things like mountaineering, reading and ghostwriting for various book projects.