Women are romantic. We love cuddling, kissing, candlelight, satin sheets – and above all else – extensive foreplay. OK. Wow. What a load of you know what. In the same way every human body is different, so are sexual preferences. Speaking for myself, I don’t get turned on at all by long rounds of foreplay. I’m a woman of action and, if you go by statistics, I am not alone in this preference. But still the relationship between women and foreplay remains a mystical topic, as if it was some high-level witchcraft. In contrast, just by taking a quick poll in the streets of New York, we found the perspectives on foreplay from both men and women to be quite different.
Emily Wilson, a great comedian, was sent on behalf of Womanizer to the streets of Manhattan and quizzed New Yorkers. The question? “How long do you spend between the legs of your partner?” While the men proclaimed confidently that they spend around 10 to 20 minutes downtown, the ladies reported their experiences of, at best, “one-minute* men. In summary: this funny, short film offers a serious lesson about the need for a refresher course on the topic of foreplay. Check it out for yourself!
Foreplay Myth: So, how else would women like it?
The answer lies literally (as so often) between the sheets, because – surprise, surprise – everyone likes different things. For me, I like it when things move quickly. Of course, that doesn’t mean my partner is required to go from 0 to 100 in one second. Instead, it means that I don’t need an hour of licks and caresses between my legs and on my clitoris. I prefer short foreplay with a longer main event. For me, the foreplay begins with dirty talk and playing footsies over dinner – long before you’re anywhere near the bedroom.
Is foreplay that important? Not necessarily!
As a survey by Kindara (a fertility awareness app) shows, only 23.6% of all women consider foreplay to be the most important element of sex. Although these figures are from 2015, they still offer great value today. In my opinion, we as women find it especially satisfying to have the feeling that our partner cares about our needs and values our orgasm just as much as – in my case – the male’s. For this reason, communication is vital to having good sex. No sexual partners can read minds. This appeal goes out to everyone: communicate with each other. In doing so, you will sweep away all the nonsense and myths like those around foreplay. Nibble, pinch, slap. Fast, gentle, wild. Tender, bondage, CAT technique. Be open with what you like. It is only then that you will give your partner the chance to really meet your needs. It is also beneficial to avoid seeing foreplay and sex as separate acts, but instead as two parts of a whole. This means that during intimacy, you can shift between stages if you want to. If it feels right, do it. Go with the flow.