I cannot lie. When the package arrived with my new public vibrator Moxie in it, I was very excited. Like, got-a-new-fun-present-and-can’t-wait-to-try-it-out excited. You know the feeling. I was buzzing, no pun intended.
My husband gave me a quizzical look. Being a sexologist, I sometimes assume he’s going to know what every single sex toy is without needing to explain it. This can often leave us with a disconnect where I don’t understand his confusion and he doesn’t understand why I’m puzzled by his not understanding. In the nicest, most loving way, of course. He’s also game for anything when opportunity strikes. So, when I explained what phone controlled vibrating panties were and that he’d be able to use the remote control, he was all about it.
The Public Vibrator Plan
My grand public vibrator plan was to go out for a fancy (outdoor) dinner while wearing it. Unfortunately, we’d just come back from a vacation in Greece and had to quarantine for two full weeks due to the Covid situation. The only place we were allowed to go was the grocery store. So, I decided I’d just wear it during our at-home workout and then to our trip to the grocery store. We must make do where we can to protect the community!
I’m always a bit skeptical about panty vibrators. They never seem to be strong enough to actually give me any pleasure. I’m very much a sucking or wand vibator kind of gal when it comes to power. To my delight, the Moxie really surprised me. It was …. a highly erotic trip to pick up eggs and milk, let me tell you.
What are panty vibrators?
A panty vibrator is exactly what it sounds like: a vibrator you wear in your panties. Sometimes they come with their own pair of underwear, complete with a pocket to place them in. I’ve always found this feature limiting as I’m picky AF about my underwear and don’t want my use to be limited by whether or not the provided pair are clean.
The Moxie is held in place by a magnet. You pop the vibe on and then use the magnet to secure it on the outside. It stays in place really well. While working out, I had no issues. I only had to rearrange it once after doing some rather painful plié squats. You control it via remote. During my workout, my husband didn’t change the intensity, as we were both pretty focused on not dying during HIIT. When we went to the grocery store, we finally got to have a little fun with the vibrator. He kept turning it up and up and up. He loves a chance to control my orgasm. It definitely had some Dom/sub energy and I was there for it.
The Moxie is also controllable via the We-Connect App. This is a nice feature because it makes using it in public even more discreet. It looks like you’re texting or scrolling through Instagram when really you’re making your partner squirm. It’s impressive.
Why would you want one?
Using a panty vibrator gives you and your partner a chance to play with power dynamics. This was the thing that made me want to give the Moxie a whirl in the first place. Letting your partner control your pleasure (and possibly orgasm) is a very sexy feeling. You just have to allow them to take the lead and roll with it.
“For many couples, they’re drawn to using a panty vibrator because it adds novelty and excitement to the relationship. There is an element of surprise, adventure, pleasure and secrecy when you’re in public. For the person wearing the panty vibrator you’re giving the power of your pleasure over to somebody else and that’s very exciting!” says Kristine D’Angelo, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist.
I really enjoyed walking around the grocery store and having my pitch get slightly elevated while saying things like, “Do we need more ALMOND MILK?” right as my husband cranked up the settings. I’m sure you’re wondering, did she orgasm? And I’ll tell you, dear reader, that I did not orgasm. I did, however, come close a couple of times and was VERY ready for sexual activity once we arrived home. Quarantine sure gets a whole lot easier when you’re having lots of sex.
Additionally, it’s a fabulous tool for long distance couples. You can control the vibrator from wherever you are via the We-Connect App. This can be a great way for couples to connect when they aren’t able to do so IRL.
“It’s such a hot feeling to be going about your daily routine, all the while anticipating when you’ll feel a buzz below your belt. If you’re on an IRL date with a sweetie, panty vibrators are such a fun tease and the best possible foreplay,” says Charyn Pfeuffer, sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating. She lovingly refers to her panty vibrator as “Girlfriend GPS.”
How should you use one in public?
It might sound a bit scandalous to use a vibrator in public, but it can be very, very fun. It’s kind of a really low-maintenance way to do something dirty and kinky without crossing any real scary boundaries. You just pop it in and try to keep a straight face.
You may not want to use one at the grocery store, but they can be very fun for date nights. I’d highly recommend giving it a try next time you and your partner(s) are out on the town. I mean, should we ever be allowed to do that again.
I asked Lucy Rowett, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist and D’Angelo for some public panty-wearing tips. And they certainly delivered.
Expert advice
Tip #1 Have a conversation prior to any sort of public vibrator play.
“This isn’t something you want to spring on somebody while out in a public setting. As in, ‘Hey, go put this on in the bathroom.’ It’s important to know your partner is a willing participant in this type of play,” D’Angelo says. Communication is key in all things sexual, pals.
Tip #2: Get a high-end wearable vibrator like the Moxie by We-Vibe.
This is not the time for cheap-o products. “Test it out on yourself first to make sure you’re both aware of what settings feel good for you before taking this adventure out in public to avoid any adjustments and possibly interrupting the flow of pleasure and fun,” D’Angelo tells me.
You want a toy that “ideally [is made from a] comfortable material that slots neatly into your panties/underwear; where the vibrations are at a level you like. Check you’re happy with the volume of noise, and how easy it is to use, to make for seamless play,” Rowett says.
Tip #3: Wear the right panties!
D’Angelo says you should “wear tighter underwear than you usually would or tights over your panties to get a really nice snug fit of the toy on your clitoral area.” Tights are a savior! I know winter blows, but now you have something positive to look forward to.
The last thing you want is for it to slip out, so this isn’t the time to wear a lacey g-string (Lucy Rowett)
Tip #4: Consider the venue.
Tip #4: Consider the venue.
Panty vibrators are a fantastic way to get your most boring events up and going. Have a work dinner? Use a panty vibrator. “It’s our little secret,’ D’Angelo says.
“This is a really fun way to bring novelty into a long distance relationship! Going out for drinks with the girls? Tell your partner you’ll be wearing the vibrator and let them interrupt the evening with some good vibrations. It’s the rumble hug from afar,” she adds.
Gigi Engle is a Womanizer sexpert, certified sexologist, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
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