Somehow the art of fingering seems to be old news, doesn’t it? Sure, there are great sex toys that make our (solo) sex so much exciting. But every now and then, it’s time to get back to the basics of the art of sex. But that certainly doesn’t have to equal vanilla for the vulva. Let’s explore how to give a vulva owner finger-licious (or a fistful) of pleasure.
Tip 1: Wash your hands!
This should go without saying, but because hygiene is especially important in this sensitive area, we’ll just say it again. Before the fingers come a good hand washing. In addition, the fingernails should be short and well-groomed and the skin should be pleasantly soft. For people that tend to have dry skin, make sure you moisturize before you start. You can even use an intimate oil for that extra slide.
Tip 2: Grab the lube
During sex, the wetter the better. This also applies to fingering in all its forms. With a water-based lubricant, your fingers can penetrate better. If you like to finger anally too, you should definitely wash your hands in between. Otherwise, bacteria can be transmitted.
Fun fact: Want to know which state in the USA buys the most fisting lube? Check out Lovehoney’s sex map to find out.
Tip 3: Start slowly
As with most sex, it’s not a good idea to jump right in. It’s more about getting off to a gentle start and then building up in terms of intensity. For example, you can start by gently pressing against the vulva and then moving your fingers towards the clitoris in gentle, gliding motions. The emphasis is on ‘gentle’ because no one is likely to like rough poking in this sensitive region.
Tip 4: Pay attention to individual preferences
Keep one thing in mind: There is no such thing as the ‘perfect fingering’, just as there is no such thing as ‘perfect sex’. Preferences are individually different and if you want to score with a lot of fingering, you should also respond to them. So it helps to let the person you want to spoil with a tingling session tell you – or even better, show you – what they like. You can even tell your partner you are going to leave the room for a couple of minutes and when you return, you want them to be masturbating. Kick off fingering with them leading the way!
Tip 5: Variety is the spice of life!
As with almost everything in life, the same applies here. Therefore, don’t reel off the same, firmly rehearsed moves every time, but always come up with something new. Stroking, rubbing, circling, sliding, inserting – the possibility of movements is huge.
Tip 6: Don’t forget that you have 2 hands!
While one hand is just stimulating the clitoris, the other can stroke and massage their hips and butt cheeks. Let your other hand travel to other sensitive parts of their body. We have two hands, so we should put them to use!
Tip 7: The perfect move for the G-spot
In order to stimulate the G-spot, sex experts recommend a special movement, namely to gently roll the middle and index finger in and out of the vagina. This stimulates the somewhat rippled area towards the abdominal wall, where the G-spot is located.
Tip 8: Ready to fist?
Fisting is the act of inserting the entire hand inside the vagina or anus. It can truly be one big kinky thrill. And very pleasurable, as fisting gives a whole other level of full feeling for the receiver. It’s not for everyone, but easy to try as you can slowly introduce one finger at a time while checking in with your partner. Having an orgasm before experimenting with fisting can help the PC muscles relax as well.
But remember – fisting doesn’t need to happen the first time you try. This isn’t a goal, but more like a very slow process. It takes lots and lots of lube, patience and consistently asking for consent. Aftercare is super important as well. Talk about what worked and what didn’t with your partner.
Tip 9: The journey is just as important as the destination!
If you put pressure on your partner to have an orgasm, you take away the fun and ease of the whole thing. The point of fingering and fisting is to explore and, above all, to indulge. An orgasm as the finale? Great. No orgasm? No problem. Maybe you want to explore edging as a pleasurable experience. The point is creating a close and intimate encounter which is ecstasy in its own right.
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