Tantric sex: the what, the how, the why

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Most people will have heard of tantric sex before, but often that’s about as far as it goes. So, what exactly is tantric sex? Does it share any similarities with the Kamasutra? We’ve collected the most important facts and must-knows about this intriguing ancient sexual practice.

According to popular opinion, tantric sex is an exclusively Indian practice, but that’s not entirely correct. In translation, the term ‘tantra’ refers to an ‘instrument to expand the mind’. At its core, it’s all about connecting the external world with the inner, spiritual aspects of life – the interconnection of male and female principles. That’s why sexuality plays such an important role in this esoteric practice.

Unlike traditional lovemaking, tantric sex doesn’t start with penetration. On the contrary, the practice incorporates the use of extended foreplay, which can even include those moments before you first touch. Tantric foreplay is all about a slow, deliberate, measured build-up of sexual energy, stretched out across an extensive period of time. In other words, there’s no rush when it comes to tantric sex.

So, is it just another version of slow sex? No, not necessarily. Tantric sex involves meditative exercises that awaken awareness of the body and intensify the experience of each other’s touch. However, one thing is essential to tantric sex: the full-body massage.

How exactly does a tantric massage work?

Once again, the guiding tantric principle is: take your time! Ideally you and your partner should create a relaxing atmosphere before a tantric massage. Music, candlelight or incense can be used to help set the right mood. A soothing massage oil can also be a welcome addition. Once everything is in place, it’s time for you and your partner to begin to explore each other’s naked body using your hands. This is best done in turn. In tantric practice, massages are used to facilitate energy flow through the body and boost sexual energy.

Eventually, you can begin to focus on the genital area. During a yoni massage, a woman’s intimate anatomy is extensively caressed and stimulated. Soft touches and circulating movements can be used to arouse the pleasure points of the vagina. With the lingam massage, a man’s genitals are the main focus and gently caressed. With practice, one can learn to massage individual pressure points and effectively make his orgasm last longer.

The coming together: the finale of tantric sex

For the grand finale of tantric sex, yoni and lingam come together. In other words, your bodies combine and become one. Here again, however, it’s not about fast movements or a quick climax. Find a position that allows you to look deep into each other’s eyes. Love each other mindfully. Take breaks. Don’t worry, these can still be sensual. Direct your thoughts away from climaxing. That’s not what tantric sex is about. Instead, focus on your two bodies, your own body and your partner’s body. Listen inward. When it comes to tantric sex the journey is the reward, and sometimes rewards come in multiples.


Author: Frieda Hintze

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