Don’t worry about any studies that don’t match your own experience with sex in a relationship
There are a lot of studies and statistics around the question of “how often is normal for sex in a relationship?” This can cause a lot of uncertainty. How often partners have sex really comes down to the individual relationship. How often partners have sex with each other is individual. Knowing this makes it unnecessary to compare your sex life with others. Stresses like everyday life can even be the reason for taking a break from sex. On the other hand, many couples have enjoyed extended sessions while on vacation. It’s important not to panic or even to take it personally when your partner isn’t in the mood.
Good routine, bad routine
Unfortunately, we often – wrongly – equate everyday life with boredom. Routine between partners offers a lot of benefits. Important feelings like comfort and security only grow over time and help take the relationship to a new level. Answering the question of how much sex is normal in a relationship becomes meaningless if you rank the quality of the relationship higher instead. It’s only once partners trust each other unconditionally that they are able to develop their sex life, try new things and realize their fantasies. No matter if it is to take an Orgasmic Meditation course together or to think about a threesome.
Quality over quantity
The frequency at which partners have sex doesn’t really provide a lot of information about the quality of their love life, and most certainly not about the quality of their relationship. Intimacy, closeness and love can remain healthy, even when couples are not having sex often. It’s more important to maintain a connection with one another, regardless of how the sex life changes. Through open and honest communication, any issues or uncertainties about the sexual relationship can be worked on and resolved. On the other hand, paying too much attention to the bedrooms of others can just add unnecessary pressure on your own relationship.
Ignore the pressure of the “norm”
Nobody really needs to conform to the “norm” in our society. Forget about what is consider standard and listen to your own feelings. Sex can mean really different things and vary in priority at various stages of our lives. A small lapse in your sex life can actually be positive, as a new level of excitement can accompany the return of sex in a relationship. However, if you feel like your sex life is facing a crisis and you’re not confident in reaching a solution yourself, seek help. Sex therapists offer professional advice and valuable support. Sometimes we can’t see the obvious solutions to our problems, because we lack perspective. In cases like this, an objective view can be important in fixing the situation and rekindling lost passion.
There isn’t a right answer to the question of how much sex in a relationship is normal. Learn for yourself what suits your relationship by communicating with open hearts and minds – don’t let yourself be pressured by unreal expectations.
Autorin: Tegwenn Harris
Photo von JD Mason on Unsplash.com