Intimacy after birth: When is it okay to have sex again?


It is quite common to have a reduced libido during pregnancy and after giving birth. That is absolutely human and normal. Eventually, however, the desire to be intimate returns. For some couples this desire returns sooner than it does for other people. The regular question is how long should we wait to have sex again after giving birth – and what you need to watch out for. Let’s find the answers to these questions.

The first few weeks after childbirth will see most parents in a state of emotional chaos. Your normal schedule is turned upside down with diaper changes, sleepless nights, perpetual fatigue and new priorities. There is often almost no time for even thinking about sex. However, at some point the urge returns – the desire for sex!  And it’s something to be excited about! Even so, this also brings up some important questions: will sex hurt now? What needs to be avoided and how has your body changed from pregnancy and giving birth? 

Waiting approximately four to six weeks after childbirth 

The general rule suggested by gynecologists is to wait around four to six weeks after giving birth. The reason for this? After the placenta is delivered, an open wound can remain in the uterus. This needs time to heal and during this time, the  

As a rule, gynecologists advise women to wait at least four to six weeks after giving birth. The reason: After the placenta has detached, a wound remains in the uterus of the female body. This must heal. During this time, the lochia leaves your body, which is a postnatal discharge made up of the remaining blood and uterine lining. It’s completely natural, however the risk of contracting an infection during this time is incredibly high. If you really can’t keep your hands off each other, then it’s a good idea to use a condom. 

Sex after birth: Is it painful? 

It can be quite common for women to experience pain after childbirth, especially if an episiotomy was necessary during childbirth. For this reason, it is really encouraged that you wait to have sex until any tears have completely healed. As the uterus remains enlarged for the first few weeks after giving birth, discomfort from the penis pushing against the uterus can also be an issue.  

So maybe while you’re waiting for everything to completely heal, you can pass the time with some suitable toys? For example, the Womanizer Premium is a clitoral stimulator that is gentle on the clitoris with its Pleasure Air™ technology – and doesn’t require penetration. Instead the 12 levels of intensity are so well-designed that even the lowest level will make you feel great, which is especially ideal for those who want to start slowly and avoid overstimulating the sensitive vaginal and clitoral areas. 

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The first time after being pregnant can be an extremely stressful time for some women. As the memory of giving birth is so fresh, feelings of desire may be lower than usual. That is also completely natural. It is vital to trust in your body! 

How exactly has the body changed? 

And while we’re on the topic of changing bodies, there are some effects of giving birth. The vagina is often quite stretched right after delivering a baby. However, the vagina is a sophisticated part of the body and contracts again as time passes. Along with pelvic floor exercises and support products, you can also strengthen the muscles yourself. There are even courses available for this. 

If you have decided to breastfeed your child, your estrogen level will also sink. A consequence of this is that you might not have as much natural lubrication as you usually do. But don’t worry, that’s what lube is for!  

Some women are also quite insecure about their bodies after pregnancy. They may weigh more than they did before the pregnancy and some struggle with connective tissue damage. Others even believe that their vagina or entire vulva is not as attractive as it once was. These fears are understandable but you just need to speak openly with your partner and feel confident in yourself… 

And what about contraception? 

Rumors persist online in forums and blogs, claiming that women are not fertile for at least one year after giving birth and can’t get pregnant. This is completely false! In fact, it is actually quite easy to get pregnant after giving birth. For this reason, using contraception remains important. You can try condoms or even the pill. However, be aware that if you are breastfeeding, you can not take the traditional estrogen-based birth control pills. They should be avoided as they can reduce breast milk production. 

Making sure sex after birth is wonderful 

It’s a good idea to consider sex after giving birth as a new beginning. Does it feel especially exciting and fresh? Then that is great! Use this spark to conquer insecurities and find joy in being touched. Cuddle. Take pleasure in being close to one another. The next steps usually come quite naturally… 

Author: Frieda Hintze

Photo by Seyi Ariyo on Unsplash


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