As someone who’s spent most of my career talking and writing about sex, I’m often asked what’s the best piece of sex advice I can share. People are inevitably taken aback when I don’t impart a groundbreaking oral sex trick, or secret Kama Sutra position. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big advocate for continuously adding to your bag of sexual techniques, but without this piece of advice, most of them are redundant. That piece of advice is simple, and kind of common sense, but it’s something very few of us do when we initiate sex; and it’s to ask our partner a four-word question: “What are you into?”